Cornwall Dance School Christmas Show 13/12/15: Scrooge – a contemporary Christmas Carol (Princess Pavilions Falmouth)

From beginning to end, the dance show itself, the process of practise, rehearsal and even ending up waking myself up literally dancing in my sleep, will always be one of my most beautiful and treasured memories.

The first dance show I’ve ever been in and after only ten months dancing, I really don’t think I let the gravity of it speak to me until the night I got home after it was all over. And it was all over in a heartbeat, far too quickly.

We began learning a new at the beginning of term in September and I remember loving the music and the opening steps immediately, even it for some reason my body was utterly determined to spin the wrong way for some inexplicable reason!
Spin conquered, not before various arguments with my living room furniture a few weeks into term we were asked if we’d like to be in the Christmas Show. Well, I think my face just did one of those uncontrollable, fixed smiles that comes from somewhere that your inner child hides!

Beyond destroying furniture, or more usually it winning, I was so determined to get the routine the best I possibly could, any opportunity that presented itself became irresistible! Even as the gym would be emptying out at the end of fencing this was too much of a tempting practise space! Many confused expressions I’m sure!

Rehearsal day arrived so quickly and walking into the hall where usually only our group dances to find it absolutely packed was pretty exciting and yes, just a bit nerve-wracking! With a smaller space to dance than normal my biggest fear was kicking my friend in the face! Fortunately for her that didn’t happen . . . (this time!)

I had butterflies from the moment I woke up the morning of the show and literally jumped out of bed – my inner child in her element! Arriving at the theatre I hadn’t considered steps or dark corridors or tripping over props, wires, doorways etc. As my friend helped me count the steps in the theatre as we waited to be called back stage, the realisation hit me; “wow I really can’t see at all in the dark anymore! Oh well, torch next time!”

This set me thinking after the show. Everyone was so lovely, I felt so looked-after and no different to anyone else there and it all just happened totally naturally. I am aware in modern society that it seems it can be awkward on both sides of the ‘eye-sight thing’, but I always hope that because I’m as open and humorous as I am about it that it breaks any potential ice and I’ve always made this my ‘thing’. To me it’s not a ‘disability’, never has or will be. Whatever ‘it’ may be, to me it’s just a different level of ability at certain things; some people are great with numbers (I’m utterly rubbish at that!) some people have good balance or have blue eyes! I don’t believe it’s as simple as ‘boxing it’ because that’s what makes someone appear ‘different’, just be you, always. Dance, amongst other things has really opened my mind to this again recently, as by its nature it allows for the freedom of thought and movement; such an inspiring journey in such a small space of time.

Rehearsal over so quickly and no disasters, then a while to wait before the show, which felt like forever! So between coffee and of course the superstitious dark chocolate we crammed in as much practise as possible in the packed dressing room with every other group doing every other kind of dance at the same time; such as buzz it was tangible and fantastic!

Show time! The most awesome wave of adrenaline which always seems to start in my knees sent an instant grin to my face! The dance itself was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Nothing like playing on stage, this was a whole other performance. I remember not being able to feel the floor under my feet, like I was strangely floating and even though connected by the music as a group and by maintaining synchronicity I experienced a wonderful feeling of individuality at the same time almost in an away-with-the-faeries way. And it was over!

Happily there was no falling-off-the-stage but I did have a very intimate moment with the curtain as I came off which both me and everyone in the wings found completely hysterical! It’s a shame that didn’t make it into the video! I just didn’t want to go home and when I did, I carried on dancing! Definitely a memory for life and thank you so much Cornwall Dance School for the most incredible year and magical journey.

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After doing ballet and tap fairly briefly as a child, this year I decided I’d enough of longing to do it properly!

Determined to make another memory from a nagging dream, I joined Cornwall School of Dance in early February 2015.

Learning both Contemporary dance and Street, in mid- March along with many others from the school, I’d been invited to take part in a dance production for the Eden Project.

In future I’m looking at completing the first Contemporary Dance award – bronze and hoping to be part of this year’s Christmas production.

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Like fencing, finally getting on a horse was a childhood calling. After being asked initially what my objectives were when arrived for my first lesson by who is now one of my dearest and closest friends, I have to admit I probably unnerved her a little! Happening to mention galloping bare-back across beaches and into the sunset, my friend took me at my word!

Beginning in June 2011, by September I’d all but done away with stirrups and saddle. As part of a birthday present that year, in November I attended a day course in Windsor which included ‘riding the rings’ and the ultimate dream of carrying a sword (albeit a beautifully realistic-but-wooden one!) on horseback. Arguably perhaps I do have an “inner-elf”!

After nearly five years, I’ve been lucky enough to gallop across stunning Cornish beaches, truly ride into the sunset bare-back and bridle-less, learned to jump, trot, canter, groom and saddle up (or not!) as well as having a go a carriage riding and in the process satisfy a true ‘soul-call’.

In the future I’m looking at a further course in stunt riding and combined archery on horseback – I hope they have ‘safety arrows’!

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September 20th 2015

Almost as soon as I hit the ‘entre’ option on the competition form the adrenaline butterflies begin! Even carting around the kit, manipulating, steps, trains, other bags plus white cane and trying not to decapitate any innocent passenger in the process is all part of the build-up for me.

Arriving in Bristol the night before the competition, I’m excited and honestly always controlling nervous energy. My mind is overflowing with all the usual questions the most pressing of which for me with a venue I’ve never fenced in before is always the lighting. It’s also the first high-level individual competition I’ve entered and I’m prepared for hard work and the possibility of not even winning a fight, but, I also craved the experience of an event of this calibre.

The first challenge I had was quite simply finding the door! Getting there in plenty of time, I could see people (moving blobs) inside fencing but after wandering round could find no apparent entry! Bemused, after texting a friend also competing I was ‘rescued’.

It’s never until I begin to warm up and stretch and start my superstitious munching of dark chocolate that I get the initial intense rush of adrenaline. In all honesty too, although I’ve managed to almost obliterate its relevance, is the ‘how much am I going to be able to see here?’ question.

It turned out that for me, that the brightness of the lighting was extremely difficult and all the usual contrasts and shadows were more of a distraction than a help. So it was time to focus on the muscle memory!

All ready to go into the poule, having found the right piste and made the referees and organisers aware of my vision, one of the organisers asked if she could have a word. She mentioned a gentleman from a local radio station who was interviewing fencers for their sport feature and said that he would be very interested to chat with me with regard to me being blind.

Managing to win one fight in my poule of six and only having one bout with no points, I couldn’t be disappointed as I honestly thought I wouldn’t win even one!

Poules done, rambling randomly through a moving blur of white and silver, attempting to avoid spools, wires, weapons and standing on anyone, the gentleman from the radio spotted me. Too wired by now to even consider being nervous we had a really great chat and many laughs. On giving him my email, he picked up on the surname and asked if he could add an extra bit to the end of what he’d already recorded – he couldn’t believe I was a relation and was enthused! As always I found this humbling as being part of that heritage means the world to me. After taking some ‘Lord of the Rings’ style photos we went our separate ways and I felt it was wonderful to have had the opportunity to share my story.

The DE was certainly no ‘knock-out’ but there were no medals for me at Bristol this year. However it truly was a fantastic experience, from the atmosphere and the fencing to having had the chance through Fate to share my story and at the time I had no idea where that interview would lead over the next month! A massive “Thank You” to you Neil Maggs!

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On 4^th July I was lucky enough to go to the most monumentally inspiring concert I’ve ever been to. Long story short, not only front row seats for Fleetwood Mac at the NEC and the first time I’ve truly ever ‘seen’ a concert, but the chance to meet Mick Fleetwood himself! Just awesome in the true sense of the word and inspirational doesn’t even begin to cover it. Truly clichéd to say perhaps, but in all honesty life has not been the same since in the most beautiful way.

Apart from barely being able to put a guitar down and feeling exactly as passionate as I did at 13 all over again, the chain of events seemed to keep spiralling. An interview for a local radio station when I competed at the Bristol Open in September this year ended up leading me to finally ‘do this’. Several interviews followed forcing me to think how and why I stated to fence amongst other things and it shouldn’t have been a surprise to me that music was inextricably linked.

So at 33, its 20 years since I first picked up a guitar, and I thoroughly believe in and lay at the feet of Fate and that ‘it’ all happens for a reason at a certain time and place and it had to be now.

I’m currently finishing songs for a third album and for my birthday this year, well it only seemed appropriate, but I appear to have a drum kit in the spare room . . so perhaps number 3 will be less ‘acoustic’?! The rest of the future is in your hands!
Ruth Tolkien

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